As I embrace another journey around the sun, my birthday week always serves as a profound time of reflection. Today, I want to invite you into the inner workings of my mind (haha, you're welcome!), as I grapple with a question that often dances on the edge of consciousness: "Am I expecting life to be problem/pain-free?"
In conscious moments, I proudly declare the 50/50 nature of life. I advocate for problem-solving as an integral part of a well-lived existence. I bask in the joy of overcoming challenges, feeling so impressed with my resourcefulness. And yet, life has a way of throwing curveballs that trigger a different response from my unconscious self.
Every time a new problem arises, especially one my nervous system perceives as a threat to survival, my unconscious self goes into a tailspin. Despite my conscious acknowledgment of life's dualities, the reality of facing adversity unsettles me, in a big big way.
I confess: I've fallen into the trap of believing I am fully responsible for the 'good' in life, only to wrestle with the illusion of control when things take a downturn. Recently, life decided to launch an all-out assault on my finances – a very dramatic event and response through the lens of my nervous system.
I raged against the perceived injustice, blaming the economy, inflation, and taxes. I marveled at how, in my responsible and hardworking existence, I could be subjected to such challenges. The plot thickened when my just-paid-off car demanded a new transmission and tires, my insurance rates doubled, my kid chipped a tooth, and an entire cup of coffee baptized my laptop.
Yes, these are all surmountable problems with straightforward solutions. Yet, my nervous system threw a tantrum. I entered a victim mindset, protested the perceived injustice, and indulged in entitlement about what I deserved. My brain was a messy battlefield of blame, outrage, and comparisons.
Why am I sharing this vulnerability? Because, even armed with coaching training and experience, I, too, succumb to the chaos of my own mind. But here's the magic – amidst the blame and victimhood, I held space for myself with compassion. I didn't beat myself up; instead, I observed and inquired into the wounds that were asking for my attention.
Life's 50/50 is a dance between acknowledging the inevitable challenges and navigating the unexpected storms with grace. I invite you to join me in this week of honest reflection and answer the question for yourself "Do you expect life to be problem/pain free?"